Mark Trail gets violent

It’s been a while since I updated you guys about all the political intrigue on the funny pages. I know you’re all just dying of curiosity. Well, I won’t make you wait any longer.

Mark Trail

Mark Trail has been ridiculously action packed lately! Some kind of domestic employee (I wasn’t exactly clear on what he did) of Mark’s neighbor Frank Johnson quit in disgust after he learned about Frank’s plan to set himself up for being the next Governor by inviting a bunch of political types to his house for a backyard tamed-animal game hunt.

Hell-bent on exposing Frank’s bizarre plan, Mark has been lurking in the bushes on the edge of the property with his camera, hoping to get proof so his editor will run the story.

Then Frank’s daughter somehow figured out what was going on. She totally flipped out and ran screaming into the fenced-in backyard hunting area, which led to one of the guests (a Senator!) missing a shot, which made Frank freak out, because I guess somehow that means he’ll never be Governor.

Mark Trail

So then — and if you thought Frank was a jerk before, O.M.G, you don’t know the half of it. So Frank’s daughter’s pet deer (yeah, I know. WTF?) chased her into the hunting area when she ran in there screaming, and Frank, desperate to save his political career, tells the Senator to shoot it!!!

Mark Trail

Luckily, Mark witnessed all this from his spy perch, and flew over the fence just in time to keep the Senator from shooting the deer.

Mark Trail

Naturally, the Senator was totally appalled by Frank’s psychotic scheme.

Mark Trail

Then Frank, who clearly has some serious anger management issues, kicked his kid’s pet deer! And then Mark punched him!

Mark Trail

Now Mark is all excited about his great story, and threatening the Senator about how he’s going to ruin his career, but I’m not sure. I mean, I know Mark is a trustworthy guy and award-winning nature journalist and everything, but unless he got all this on video, nobody is going to believe that this actually happened. Right?

Anyway, that takes us up to the present. For those who can’t stand the suspense in between my somewhat arbitrarily timed updates, you can keep up with the full story as it happens at the Mark Trail archives on the Seattle Post Intelligencer website.

Rex Morgan

The Rex Morgan storyline is far less exciting. Basically nothing has happened. The Mayor continues to be furious about the news of his prostate cancer getting leaked to the press. Rex Morgan has been investigating everyone who had access to the medical records to see if he can find the source of the leak, but no luck. Literally every single day, the comic is basically exactly the same. Either the Mayor is screaming about vengance or Rex Morgan is telling yet another person that he doesn’t know who leaked the info. YAWN.

Rex Morgan

And now I think it is turning out that it was not a political enemy hoping to ruin the Mayor’s re-election campaign after all, but instead the Mayor’s daughter, who like, texted all her friends about it. What a waste.

2 thoughts on “Mark Trail gets violent

  1. Andrew Alden

    Clearly Mark Trail represents Oakland bloggers, striking a blow against the nefarious underminers of the public weal. And his impassioned outcry is a clear signal to Oakland voters: Oh yes, we may not get another chance to do this! VOTE AGAINST FRANK!